Handbook for Parents 2
Communication between separated/divorced parents

Criticise each other

"Don't be a coward like your dad", "Don't be irresponsible like your mom". Separated/divorced parents might bad-mouth the other parents in front of the children as a channel to let out their frustrations, or to destroy the relationship between the children and the other parent. They want to prove how bad the other parent is so they can win over children’s trust and love or they strongly believe in his/her bad characters and want to let the children know the truth. However, most children believe they belong equally to both parents, so they will take it personally when they hear criticisms of either of their parents. These verbal attacks will hurt their feelings and lower their self-esteem.

If separated/divorced parents can’t stay away from the past heated conflicting communicating mode, stay on their emotion and own wants, and continue to fight for power and control, all the fightings and bad-mouths will leave marks in children’s hearts, causing them agony