Handbook for Parents 2
Communication between separated/divorced parents

Effective communication

• Wisely choose where and when to discuss about your children with your ex-partner. Make sure both sides are up-to-date with children’s studies, behaviours, and emotions etc.


• Agree on one main channel to communicate with each other, may it be via email, phone SMS, instant mobile messaging applications, etc. Set some boundaries on communication format, time, frequency and avoid using words that are too subjective or emotional.


• The conversation between you and your ex-partner should evolve around your children, and problem solving based.


• Try to communicate in the role of “partners running a business of the children’s well-being”, i.e. to establish a “business partner” type of communication or working relationship among colleagues with your ex-partner can make things smoother.


• Start with simple and concrete issues, allow you and your ex-partner some time to get used to this new way to communicate before making long-term or major decisions for the children.


• Always discuss with the other parent for their opinion when making big decisions for your children. May it be about schooling, important medical arrangement, or plan leaving Hong Kong etc.


• Patiently listen to your ex-partner, ask for clarification when needed.


• Respect or try to understand the decisions your ex-partner makes for your children.


• Avoid arguing on minor issues. Respect each other and show your will to compromise when there is difference in opinion.


• Avoid by all means quarrelling in front of your children, putting them in a tough situation.