Handbook for Parents 1
Impact of separation and divorce
Treat yourself well
Managing your emotions
Regardless of the reason behind this separation/divorce, both parents are going through a very tough period of time. In order to walk out from the shadow of the ex-partner, and minimise the effects on your children, it is crucial to self-heal and manage grief in the correct way. The emotions of separated/divorced parents will directly affect how they proceed forward with their new roles; your children are very sensitive in how you interact with your ex-partner. Remember, the emotional impact between the parents and children goes both ways, therefore you should manage yours well and learn to let go.
Break ups can lead to a variety of negative feelings, keeping these feelings unchecked will cause more problems and bring harm to your children when you display anger onto them.
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Negative emotions |
Tips |
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Feeling resentful when you see or hear about the ex-partner. |
Try releasing the energy through cardio exercises. You can also explore doing relaxing activities such as listening to music or meditating to sooth yourself. Constantly remind yourself to let go, block off any news about the ex-partner can also expedite the process. |
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Reluctant to let other people know about the divorce, or purposely avoid going to the social events that you used to go as a couple. |
Accept the truth proactively:
We often automatically turn into denial when facing undesirable situations. We need to accept the truth, cut ourselves loose from the past relationship and establish a new identity. For example, join activities that interest you and create opportunities to meet new friends; set a plan for change and stick to it. |
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Break up can bring a chain of gloomy feelings, which can lead to depression, taking away our interest in everything and stopping us from doing things that we like. This cycle can go on and on, lasting for a few hours or days or worse. Without proper treatment, it will affect your daily routine, work and social life. |
First and foremost, we must bring ourselves back to a regular routine life. You may choose to join community activities that you like, participate in social events, interact with the others and stay away from negative thoughts. Increasing the amount of exercise can also rejuvenate our bodies and refresh our minds. |
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If you struggle to cope with your feelings arising from separation/divorce, you can talk to someone that you trust, or seek help from professional social workers and counsellors. The last thing you want is to take it out towards your ex-partner or children. |
