Handbook for Parents 1
Impact of separation and divorce

3) My children

Q & A - how to answer your children's questions

The children will face a tough time adjusting after the parents have been separated. They are unsure about the cause for this split and will have a lot of questions in mind. Answer their questions honestly with positivity. This will help minimise their anxiety.

• Question: Is it my fault that my parents are divorced?

Answer: The reason why mom and dad are divorced is because they can no longer get along with each other. It was a decision made by the two of them, and that it is absolutely not your fault.





• Question: How can I help resolve the conflicts between my parents?

Answer: There is no need for you to try to resolve adult’s problems, or take sides. If possible, try and leave the room where the conflict is taking place, distract yourself by doing something else such as chatting with a friend over the phone, listening to music or watching a movie.






• Question: Can mom and dad get back together?

Answer:The decision to separate/divorce is an outcome of rounds of thinking and considerations. It is most likely that they will not get back together.




• Question: Why do I feel sad and unsettled?

Answer: When facing such a big change in the family, you might experience anger and sorrow towards your parents’ divorce, and you will have doubts about your future. It is natural to feel this way.





• Question: What should I do when I feel sad and depressed?

Answer: Do not hide these feelings. Talk to someone you trust, it could be your teacher, school social worker or elder people that you trust.




• Question: Whom should I live with? Will I still be able to see mom/dad?

Answer: Although mom and dad no longer live together, you can still meet and spend time with both of them. If you have any needs or thoughts about this arrangement, feel free to talk to mom/dad about it.





• Question: Should I inform my friends or classmates about the parents’ divorce?

Answer: There is nothing for you to feel ashamed for and there is no need to hide it from your friends or classmates. Perhaps some of them have experienced that as well. If they make fun of you or pick on you, don’t take it too personally and let it go. If you need support or help, you can always turn to your parents, teacher, counsellor or school social worker.